What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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