watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
