fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
