He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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