super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
