my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
