He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
