i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize