Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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