Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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