At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
