yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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