now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize