im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
