paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
