I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
