you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
