I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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