i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
