wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Randomize
