If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
