i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
