But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
