How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
