and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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