He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
