did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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