Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
