He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
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