Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
