we have pet lesbian snakes
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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