I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
