How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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