He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
