Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize