i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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