I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
