Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I can't put those talents on a resume
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Randomize
