I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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