i just wanna soil my oats bro
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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