Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
