We're facebook friends in real life
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
