i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
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