found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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