i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
