what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
