i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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