I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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