who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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