I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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