and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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