I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
