I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
