Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i was born a porn star she said
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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