broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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