Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
