Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
