best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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