He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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