Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
