As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
