you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
