I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
