so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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