went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
