SEEEEXXX PLEASE
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
