you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
