I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize